Monday, March 19, 2012


reading through some old writings and discovered that this never got posted here...

So, this has been kindda bugging me lately and in the car just now I heard it again... There is a commercial on 88.3 that talks about the music and listener reactions and it is in reference to John Waller's "While I'm waiting"... the woman makes a comment about how she loves that song because it reminds her that all she needs to do is wait on God and everything will be ok...

Whereas that is nice sentiment and I fully agree that there are times in life when we are supposed to wait on God, I think the we (myself emphatically included) have failed to understand what this means. I think that if we listen to the lyrics of that song, and search the Bible, we discover that most of the time, waiting on God is not an idle task. We hear, "wait on God" and think, "Ok God, I'll be right here when you are ready to tell me what to do." But listen to what Waller sings, "I will serve you while I'm waiting and I will worship while I'm waiting." "I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience" "I'll be running the race, even while I wait."

He nails it! So often when we "wait" on God, we are just sitting, idle... what are we expecting to happen? The Bible tells us, and Waller paraphrases, that we should be serving and worshiping. We should be actively seeking God's instructions by following the ones we already know. Instead of sitting idle, waiting for a bush to catch fire to tell us what to do, we should be following the will of God to love others and serve the least of us... we should look to His word for instruction and step out boldly in faith, confident that even though the service we are doing may not be the pinnacle of God's plan for our life, that we are serving God the way we are commanded. Through these services and through prayerful meditation God reveals more of His plan for us, and directs us further. It takes our willingness to "move ahead bold and confident" to gain a deeper understanding of God, and the work He wants us to do. For example, remember that burning bush? Nothing happened there until Moses took action... God did not call out, "Hey, Moses, yeah, you... get over here!" God waited for Moses, not the other way around.

One failing of Christians today is that we do not serve while we wait, this results in a perception that we only care about you when it is convenient for us, or when you wander into our church. We forget that we are to be always serving, and always loving. We wait for the next big event to do something, we wait until we think God is ready... how silly does that sound? Once again we try to dictate to God when its a good time to reach out, when its an ok time to let someone know how much He loves someone. I am awful at this, and I know most of you are too... why not try to be a little better at waiting on God by doing what Jesus told Peter... lets feed some sheep

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Where I am

Sometimes our heart requires breaking, the repair of the heart, when done through Godly wisdom and counsel leads to strengthening and ultimately a better life. In the meantime, it hurts.

The first time I was ever truly broken, I went from engaged to single in the blink of an eye. I remember sitting, gazing at the stars, trying to figure out what happened and why. All I wanted was to scream at God, turn, and run... instead, through some timely and truly loving advice from a friend, I turned right at God and went to His word. I felt challenged to prove that the answer was not present in some book. How could this book possibly help me now? What I learned that night was that it is foolish to try to prove God wrong... grumpily reading through some scripture I came across a parable. In this parable we see two seeds that landed in the same spot of dirt. They began to grow and become strong, and then one tree was ripped up from the spot and placed away from (yet still close to) the second tree. The result was that each tree rooted much more firmly and produced much more bountiful fruit. As the trees grew, their branches reached out to one another and they were again joined as two beautiful, productive trees.

I took this to heart and chose to plant myself firmly in God, and blindly trust that He knew what he was doing. My growth from that point was far from perfect, but I strived to remain focused on God, and trusted Him to make His will come... Within only a few years, my fiancee and I were married. It is a daily struggle sometimes to remember that so much pain was required to build me up into more of the man God wants me to be, and sometimes I forget that He is not done with me... I forget that if I am not careful, and do not walk with God as I should that there could be even greater pain and heart break in my future.

Been spending this week in Psalm 119, convicted about my obedience... praying that I will take those words as seriously as I used to

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Thoughts of Quantum Theories

I've done some reading this past couple of weeks about Quantum mechanics. I am always interested in what kind of explanations others have found about the world, and our existence in it. I read through an explanation of the thought exercise concerning "Quantum Suicide". This exercise is an extension of the Many-worlds theory which (roughly butchered) says that within the world we occupy, every decision we make has multiple possible answers and consequences. We are limited to deciding only one possible route for each of these choices, however, when we make our choice, we are causing a split and the creation of an alternative reality for each and every other possible choice. This series of events occurs with every person, and every decision they make, every day... forever. We remain only conscious of the reality of the choice we make, and are never aware of these alternate realities. To this end, Quantum Suicide is an exercise in which a man sits in a room with a loaded pistol. When he chooses to pull the trigger, the gun will either fire or it won't, depending on the location and rotation of quanta acting on the gun at that precise moment. These two possibilities split into 2 different realities, in one the gun fires and the man dies... while in the other, the gun malfunctions, and does not fire. In this second reality, the man resets himself, and pulls the trigger again. Again there is a split into two realities, one where the man dies, and one in which he will again try to kill himself. This creates an infinite loop of attempted suicide in which the man will ultimately (because of the never-ending splitting of realities) become immortal.

I say this to get to this point, I have a few observations I'd like to make:
1) Thinking about how many decisions each of us makes every day, and how many people there are in the world, it is impossible to try to estimate how many different, parallel realities exist and how many new ones are created each day. Especially when you factor in that each decision made in each alternative reality would itself cause a split into a whole new set of reality... and it spirals onward...
So, the same people who subscribe to this type of thinking will generally also concede that due to the sheer number of realities in existence, then the laws governing large numbers would state that anything is possible. To this end, I have to wonder how they can question the existence of God. Wouldn't it stand to their own logic and reason that within at least one of those plains of existence there would be room for God? Also, by definition of who God is, if He exists in one reality, He would have to exist in all of them? If He is not, then He is not God and could not exist at all... yet, that would then violate the logic and the law of large numbers to say that it is not possible for God to exist.

2) This is also another reason why it is impossible to prove or disprove the existence of God. We can use neither the things of this world, nor the measurements of man to attempt to nail down any proof of God. He is existent beyond any level of understanding we can achieve, and yet He reveals Himself to us in ways we can comprehend. His mercy in this requires a willingness to believe. A lack of faith, so often is a lack of desire to believe. God's existence and the account of reality as depicted in the Bible makes much more sense than pretty much all of the other mumbo-jumbo I listed here...

In all reality, I don't know the full point as to why I felt I needed to post this. I hope I will at some point realize why I take time to write out so much of what I am thinking... but for today, this is all I got!

Thursday, March 1, 2012


Ever have a moment where you say something and it hasn't yet fully left your lips and you already feel that familiar tug of conviction? Ever amazed at how fast the Holy Spirit works sometimes?

I uttered this phrase while having a talk with my wife earlier today, "I'm tired of feeling like all I do is serve my family" I didn't mean it to come out quite like that, but I know it came out like that because it was what I was feeling, I just didn't slow down enough to put it in better words.

As it turns out, my pride and ego are still a work in progress... I sometimes forget that serving my family is serving God. It is not only my duty as a man, but my privilege as a Christian. I've been in a selfish rut lately, and that's gotta change... New baby on the way means another person to serve. I am striving to do so with a proper heart, and a joyous spirit. I am immeasurably blessed in opportunities to glorify God in my own home, and with His guidance and grace, I know I can be a better man.