Monday, August 29, 2011

Something I learned in the bathroom

I don't know about you, but I spend a legitimately large amount of the time in a bathroom. Think about it, even if you only spend a minute or so at a time, you probably spend 15 minutes or more of your day on or near a toilet, plus you really should be in a shower or tub at some point each day as well. Being a night shift nurse, I tend to spend more time awake than the average person, and often take 2 showers a day. I would estimate that I spend a total of an hour a day in the bathroom... as such, I spend alot of time alone with my thoughts. I find I am quite the thinker when I am let to my own devices in the solitude of the loo... so here's something that came to me yesterday...

We often hear analogies regarding parenthood and its symbolizing the relationship between God and mankind. I have always enjoyed the metaphor, and think it often fits really well. I saw it in action yesterday. My daughter is just over a year old and is very much a daddy's girl. (I am totally ok with this) She wants to spend time close to me, and often gets upset when she can't. This was exacerbated yesterday when I needed to take a shower. She followed me around the house, called my name and wanted me to hold her. She became increasingly upset as I was unable to pick her up. I had just finished mowing and was covered in dirt and sweat. The displeased little lady hit her breaking point when I went into the bedroom and closed the door, effectively breaking her little heart. As I got into the shower, I could hear her cries and her calling out "Dada, Dada!"... then she got quiet. I finished my shower and hoped that she was doing ok, put on some clothes and went back into the bedroom. She was sitting on the bed with her mama, playing and waiting for me to join them.

See the parallel?

We, especially as new Christians, want to be close to our daddy. We desire to follow Him, and to love Him. We love to feel close to His heart and be held in His arms. There are times in our walk that we feel like we can't get close to God, times when we feel like we are running in circles and that God is just ignoring us. We find it hard to understand that for whatever reason in that moment, it is for our own good that God pulls Himself back. It is not easy for Him to sit back and watch or listen to His children cry out, but sometimes it is necessary. So, how do we respond in those moments? Do we run away from God? Do we decide that He has abandoned us? Do we do it on our own? Or do we do what God's word tells us to do? Do we have child-like faith?
Maybe what we need most in that time is to go to someone who has a deeper understanding and knowledge of God. We need mentors who can help us get through those times. We should surround ourselves with people who are smarter than us, and can encourage us. Through guidance and prayer, they can help us get through the times we feel God is distant.

Thats what my little girl taught me yesterday. When she felt that I was far away, she called out for me, and went to find help from someone who knows me better than she does. She knew that her mama could help her. Together they waited and continued to call out for me... and I was all too happy to rejoin them

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

God knows me

During worship Sunday morning at FBC-Nixa (check us out sometime) I was struck in a rather unexpected way when Steve mentioned Lamentations 3:40. I was reminded that not only is God never surprised by the happenings of this world, but also He is never surprised by my own life. Furthermore, it is almost as though God expects me to fail. Read through this verse:

"Let us search out our ways,and turn back to God." Lamentations 3:40

God does not require me to be perfect in my following of Him, He knows I can't do it. He knows that within my innermost being there is a sense of individualism. God made me, and He knows that there are times that I am going to doubt everything, down to the very core of His existence. I've hit that place so many times in my past, both distant and recent. So often I hear that voice in my head laughing at me for believing that anything so ridiculous as a personable and loving God could exist. My own ego mocks that even if this God could exist, that He would send Himself in the form of a baby, and that this child would grow into a man, living a perfect life, to die and take the punishment that I deserve. My inner monolouge tells me I am stupid for thinking any of this is truth... Then I am reminded of the times I bought into those doubts. The lonely days of sitting in a dorm room, unable to get out of bed. The feelings of total abandonment of all things happy and good that preceeded not just one, but two academic suspensions. (not to mention an 80pound weight gain, and loss of many good friends)I remember the night that I finally reopened my Bible... and read "Let us search out our ways, and turn back to God"

I needed to hear those words again... God knows I will get comfortable and complacent and start trying to seek my own ways again.

Thank you God for never giving up on me