Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Not a Fan: week 1: feeling alive

Started a new church-wide study tonight with Kyle Idleman's Not a Fan... During discussion we were asked to imagine a time that we felt truly alive and our focus was not on ourselves. For me, I feel most alive in the first few split seconds of recognizing the rapid deterioration of a patient who is headed to cardiac/respiratory arrest.
In that moment, all of the skill, knowledge, and some instinct culminate deep down, and I am in my element. The utter chaos of a code is like a hurricane; violent, intense, relentless... But at the center of that chaos there has to be those who serve as the "eye"... We feel most at peace within this storm. It feels natural, and we see order and beauty in these moments.

So, that's what makes me feel most alive... I truly believe that God has blessed me in ways that allow me to thrive in such circumstances, and I try to remember that it is only to His glory and greatness that I am able to perform these tasks. But I often struggle with my pride... forgetting that without Him I could do nothing, not the least of which to help a patient in need. When I can keep the focus on my Lord before, during, and after a code... not only do I feel alive, but also, I feel grateful and blessed to have the opportunity to serve in such a great way.

A great start to this study, to this point I feel that the fan/follower designation must be viewed on a continuum. We all fall on the spectrum somewhere between being simply a fan of Jesus, or truly being a committed follower of Christ. We should strive to, every day, decide to move closer to being a follower. I hope I do just that.

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