2 months in

Two months ago today was the first morning we woke up as a family in Seattle. Two months (and a couple days) since last seeing our friends, celebrating and ringing in the New Year. What was strange at the time was that we had a sense that we weren't leaving home, but rather going home. We couldn't explain it outside of a heart shift, a working of the Spirit within us, shaking the dirt off our roots, preparing us for this new adventure. We were far from certain of what things would look like as we headed out for our 4-day voyage, what "home" would be.

So, two months in, two months of a new job, two months of a new city, two months of apartment life, two months of gathering with our new family. Two months of prayerfully seeking God's will for a gathering of people, seeking to covenant together to become a church. Two months of singing hymns A Capella, two months of meeting in a conference room on the 33rd floor... two months of eternally significant, small moments.

I am not one who is eager to love other people. I do not naturally find enjoyment in being with others. It is Spirit-wrought fruit in my life, evidence of the power of God at work to conform me into the image of Christ that I desire to put to death that fleshly want of solitude. It is by His grace alone that I find myself craving time with this gathering, craving corporate prayer, and by extension wanting to be among the darkness of our city. That last part ebbs and flows with greater regularity than the tides, but it is real. I want to be present among the debauched throngs of men that can be found throughout the streets. I want to hold up the precious jewel of the Gospel before them, allowing the light of the glory of God to shine through it's many facets, striking the hearts of men. I want to witness the resurrecting power call dead men to life. I desire to be an instrument, like Ezekiel, through whom God can breathe life into dry bones.

I want to not allow the stress and demands of my job to be used by Satan to pull me away from the purpose to which God brought my family to this city. I want to stand firm in the practices of daily Bible study and prayer, even though my eyes and brain are often tired. I want to invest into my fellow believers, time, prayers, fellowship.

Lord, help me to love. Help me to love my wife as Christ loves His church. Help me to love my kids and raise them up in You. Help me to love my brothers and sisters, to bear their burdens, and lessen their loads. Help me to love the least of these, your children, for by this will all men know that I am yours, that I would love them. Lord, help me trust your plan. Help me keep your mission, and your purpose as the priority of my life. Allow me the privilege of vulnerability and transparency that others may know my heart and my needs, that I would seek their support, help, and prayers. Lord, help me seek satisfaction in You, glorify yourself in my satisfaction. Lord, cause me to lie down and rest in your green pastures. Lord, I readily acknowledge your word that unless I abide in you, and you abide in me, I am only a fruitless branch, that I can do nothing apart from you. I cannot love as you command, I cannot bear other's burdens, I can not cherish my wife, or raise my kids, I cannot trust, rest, rejoice, not even breathe apart from you. To abide without you is to have myself cast off and thrown to the fire. But Lord, you also promise that if I abide in you, and your words abide in me, that whatever I ask will be done for me. You, Lord, are glorified in the asking of your children for your mercies, for by asking we will bear fruit, and thus prove to be your disciples. This promise is made for the joy of your people, to the full. Lord, I seek and ask for that fullness of joy that is found in your presence, and at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. --Amen