words

I sometimes fear that I am running out of words. Which is unsettling in the scope of how many words I say in a given day... I feel that fear most when I sit down to write. I have written a large part of a couple different posts this evening, just to erase them because I just didn't have the words. 

Words are powerful, and in the hands of different people, their power can be wielded in greatly influential ways. I often get caught up in thinking that my words are just wasteful, being stolen from a voice that could make real change or impact in this world. I fear the reality that I am simply a thief in the night, seeking to prevent the true conveyor of meaningful thought from laying down the true intent of the words I use. Among my greatest fears is to be discovered as a fraud. Not because I am one, but because I fear I am ignorant to being one. I often fret over the words I have used up in my lifetime that were used for little more than manipulation and destruction of those around me. 

I count the times in my life, and the many people in my life that I have hurt with words, and I am grateful for the forgiveness of so many of them. I am immensely more grateful for a God who called me out, who brought me to Him, and who has gifted me with this love of words. I know that He has entrusted the power of words to me, and He has words for me  to put together. I am praying that I would continue to seek being better at treating this gift properly, and that more of my words would be for the purpose of edification, teaching, and out of love. I feel confident that, though my words on this earth are numbered, that when I do finally run out of words, that what is left behind will be a clear message not of pain, manipulation, and deceit, but words of grace, love, and redemption.