being patient

I made a comment the other day on Twitter, but I think the thought deserves more space than the 140 characters I am limited to in that space... so...

I am entrenched in a particularly trying season in my life right now, and I am convinced that nearly every aspect of my life has been put together by God to help me better learn and understand my need for patience. Everything from my current work situation, having to go back to night shift, trying to find advancement opportunities, and other similar situations... to non-professional obligations such as being called to serve on our pastor search team, serving in our AWANA ministry, etc... to education frustrations, just trying to get my BSN finished so I can get started on my Master's work.

I am not a person who was required, in my younger years, to undergo much stress. I was blessed mightily in that regard through my childhood. As I entered adulthood, my lack of stress became much more about my tendency to shy away from particularly difficult situations, and detach from problems as I saw them coming. But over the last couple of years, I have become much more aware of my role as a husband, father, and man, I have found my further need to launch headlong into these situations. This has lead to a trial by fire in which I have been forced to, on the fly, gain experience and understanding in how to manage stress, and be more patient. I am not by nature a patient person, though I have been blessed by an easy-going personality in many areas of life. This easy-going-ness falters mightily, however, in the areas of my life that I am most passionate about (my family, my church, my career). As my patience has worn thinner and thinner, my stress has risen. I have recently found myself being angry at God for not doing things in a timely manner... not keeping everyone else on my schedule, aligned with my desires, and accomplishing whats best for me! Until one day last week, I was getting ready to lay down, and was praying over many of my frustrations with the seeming standstill in so many areas of my life, and I felt strongly the revelation of God in this simple, deep conviction...

My lack of patience with God's timing is directly rooted in my lack of trust in His sovereignty.

ouch

Was I really not trusting that God was in control? Had I forgotten that when I entered into this relationship, that it was contingent on my understanding that Christ is not just my Savior, but He is also my Lord? God has called me to be set apart, and opened my heart to understanding His word because He has a sovereign plan and purpose for my life. He has things set in place along my path that serve as opportunities to glorify Him in all I do, just as we are all called to do. If I am too rushed and hurried to achieve my own ends, I am going to run past so many of these opportunities. I may not fully understand why so many things in my life seem to be stuck, or slowly progressing, but I can know that from where I am to the next point my path is planned out for the glory of God. I can trust that the One who created everything can handle whatever is in my path. I need to become better at waiting, better at patience. I need to be satisfied to serve God where I am, in the ways He has placed in front of me, and trust that He will bring new opportunities in my path as He sees fit.

If I am willing to place my trust in the sovereign grace of God, then I will find that my worry of His timing won't be so significant.